Adventures in Sex and Love

“Damn, why did I text him that?”

“Should I call him?”

We’ve all been here before. We’ve all been to that place where we’re questioning every move we make with someone new. Sometimes it’s hard to find that balance between giving too much attention and not giving enough. 
It always seems easy not to do too much when you’re not yet sure how you feel about the person. But in my experience,  once you decide that you do actually have feelings for that person, you start to lose your mind a little bit. People always say that you should let the guy chase because men love to chase, right? But it’s hard to do that once I realize that I share his feelings. I just get so excited…I wanna make sure he knows I want him just as much as he wants me. Suddenly I forget everything I’ve been told…I disregard all the rules. Who made these stupid rules anyway?

On the flip side, sometimes I give the impression that I’m not interested at all when I really am. I’ve been told that I can be kind of cold. I think it’s just my way of trying to protect myself. Initially I don’t want to give too much and invest too much in someone emotionally, because what if it doesn’t work out?? I don’t like to feel stupid. And I definitely don’t like to be hurt.

The cold hearted person in me also often takes issue with the man who seemingly gives too much attention in the beginning of a courtship. I find myself wondering what his motives are. Is he desperate? Is he just trying  ok have sex with me? Is he being genuine? I often think that he can’t possibly be as interested in me as he seems. That’s probably a result of my insecurities and low self esteem. So I almost always push this type of man away….only a man who is truly persistent will get me to let my guard down.

So how do you find that balance? How do you keep yourself from calling him every hour on the hour or completely shutting down because you don’t wanna seem desperate? How much is too much? I really need to know…